May 18. I can’t wait!

I have three weaknesses*: dark chocolate, red wine and fresh produce. All cause my willpower to run away screaming. Come back, Willpower! Nope, it’s gone - molten, drunk and full of fiber and vitamins.

I keep dark chocolate in my desk at work and eat a square of it every day, usually before lunch, and sometimes after lunch, too, if I’m feeling decadent.

If I keep it at home, it disappears too quickly, especially when I am under the influence of the second great will-breaker, red wine. If I were to graph my resistance to dark chocolate as a function of how much red wine I have consumed, the graph would look something like this:

Oddly enough, if I were to graph my resistance to red wine as a function of how much red wine I have consumed, the graph would look exactly the same. That’s why I try to avoid buying red wine unless I’m expecting company. I tell myself I’ll have just one glass, but next thing I know I’ve downed half the bottle. I pass out in bed without flossing my teeth and fall asleep halfway through a show I want to watch on Hulu.

(Sidenote: Did I just publicly admit to drinking by myself? Is that the first step to recovery? More to the point: Now that I’m recovered, can I go buy a bottle of red wine so I can drink a single glass of it and save the rest for later? No? That’s not how recovery works? Well, shucks. For a moment there I thought I’d beat the system.)

So, yes. I have vices. Two of them are not particularly healthy, particularly when paired, as demonstrated above in chart form.

Thank goodness, then, for Vice No. 3.

Vice No. 3. Yes. Colorful, hearty, vibrant and crisp, o produce, I do heart thee.

My infatuation with fruit ‘n veg dates back to toddlerhood. I was a one-year-old, and my parents took me to Hawaii. According to my mother, what I liked best was the pineapple. Sweet and succulent, as refreshing as it is yellow, pineapple made me swoon.

As a kid, I ate my broccoli. I liked salad; I liked sweet potatoes. Avocado? Oh hell yes. Corn on the cob, grilled peppers, crispy carrots, celery topped with peanut butter - mmm. And don’t get me started on apples.

It sounds romantic, no? Bewitching and serene. The produce section of a well-stocked grocery store or farmer’s market is one of my simplest pleasures. But charmed though this love sounds, as with all infatuations, this one came with a hearty serving of disillusionment.

Not all produce is created equal.

I’m not just talking canned-and-drowning-in-sodium here. That one’s obvious. Take a good, crispy green bean or a sweet kernel of corn and immerse it in a vat of water saltier than the Dead Sea and of course you’re going to end up with hypertension and a soggy, bland mess. Yes, canned is a cost-cutter, but for the good of your heart (and your taste buds, and society), buy fresh, or at least buy frozen.

The real disappointment, though, was the supply chain. To enjoy apples year-round, I have to rely on the likes of New Zealand and Argentina and other far-off lands where autumn occurs in April. I have nothing against those countries. Actually, they’re pretty sweet. But do you have any idea how much fuel it takes to cart a load of fruit from there to here? It takes a lot of fuel. Too much. Tons. It’s wasteful. Then there’s the issue of pesticides, herbicides, fertilizers, etc. Not all of them are sustainable. Produce, great as it is, can really wreak havoc on land.

I like to incorporate a broad array of plant species into my diet, but the supply chain being what it is, sometimes my produce makes me feel guilty.

That’s why I am so very excited about May 18, 2009. Today, after clicking on a link sent to me an email, I signed on as a shareholder at the Spiral Path Farm right here in south-central PA.

What that means is for 28 weeks this year, starting May 18, I will receive a box of organic, locally grown, fresh, seasonal fruit ‘n veg to slice and dice and stew and dip or just eat plain and raw all spring, summer and autumn long, guilt free, for $14.50 a week. Whatever’s fresh in a given week will be packed in a box for me to pick up at a location conveniently located near my apartment. I’ll get strawberries, melons, onions, garlic, potatoes, kale, corn, squash, leeks, eggplant, cucumbers, carrots… the list goes on. The list is fabulous.

It’s called community-supported agriculture, and I am its new biggest fan.

OK, so I’ve been a fan for a while, but this is the first time I’ve also been a contributor. It makes me feel damn good. If you live near me and we’re friends, or if you come to visit, it could make you feel damn good, too, because I might offer to cook for you.

Especially if you show up with a bottle of red wine, or a sweet, bitter slab of dark chocolate.

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*Food-related weaknesses, that is. Other weaknesses include vacation, waterfront paths, Jacki Carlsen, puppies, nice butts, rooftop decks, the color green and girly, whimsical, well-made clothing that I cannot afford.